Break the Cycle of Family Karma

The Inherited Thread: Family Karma, Illness, and the Healing Wisdom of Bert Hellinger

What if the fear we carry wasn’t ours to begin with?

There’s a story in my family that doesn’t begin with me, but has lived in me for years: a fear of getting sick.

It was always there, quiet but pulsing. I remember the way my grandparents, aunts & uncles talked about their health, the constant monitoring of symptoms, the tension beneath every doctor’s visit. Illness wasn’t just a physical event in our family; it was a storyline, one that shaped identity, emotion, and even a sense of fate.

For a long time, I thought that was just normal. I didn’t know it was inherited. I didn’t know I was entangled.

But then I began exploring the work of Bert Hellinger, a German therapist and philosopher who uncovered something astonishing in the fabric of human experience: that we often carry the burdens of our family not just emotionally, but energetically—out of love.

What Is Family Entanglement?

Hellinger believed that every family has a kind of soul field—a system where unresolved trauma, grief, shame, or guilt can get “stuck” and passed from one generation to the next. This is especially true when someone in the family was excluded, forgotten, or suffered in silence.

In this system, love becomes entangled. We try to carry someone else’s pain to stay connected. And so the child might say (unconsciously):

“I’ll carry this fear for you, Grandma.”

“If you couldn’t be free, I won’t be either.”

“If you were sick your whole life, then maybe I should be too.”

It’s never about weakness—it’s about loyalty.

My Family’s Story of Illness

In my lineage, illness was more than a diagnosis. It was identity. It was anticipated. It was feared. And the fear itself had weight.

Looking back now, I see how that fear shaped my relationship with my body. How it crept into parenting, into decision-making, into my sense of safety. Not because I didn’t want to be healthy, but because somewhere deep down, health felt disloyal. Like I’d be stepping outside the story that held my family together.

That’s what family entanglement does: it asks us to stay small, so the system doesn’t have to change.

Untangling the Thread

What I’ve learned—through Hellinger’s work and my own spiritual unfolding—is that we can love our family deeply and still choose to break the pattern.

We can say: “This fear ends with me.” or“I honor your suffering, and I choose a different path.” or“I send light backward through the line, and I step forward in peace.”

When we name what we’re carrying, we make space for something new to grow. And when we heal ourselves, we create a new story for our children.

For You, the Cycle Breaker

If you’ve ever felt like you were carrying a weight that didn’t quite belong to you, you’re not alone. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s scarcity. Maybe it’s shame or silence or striving. Whatever it is, it’s not a life sentence. It’s a soul invitation. You are not weak for feeling it. You are strong for noticing it.

And you are free to set it down.

May light guide you always, 

Andra