Gifts from spirit

Raising Discerning Kids: How to Teach Truth, Calm, and Inner Guidance

You can feel confident about reaching your destination… and still double-check your directions before you drive.

That’s discernment. And right now, discernment is one of the most loving skills a family can reclaim. Remembering how to trust our inner authority without fear or outsourcing it.

This morning, I was scrolling and noticing something I think we all know deep down: my feed mostly shows me what I already tend to agree with. The world we live in is built that way. We’re each served a stream of information that fits the shape of our past clicks, our emotional reactions, our “time spent,” our current views. You know the dreaded "algorithm" that they are always talking about. 

I must have been thinking about that when I read a post that gave me the idea for today's blog post. It said something like: Everyone has their own movie playing in their mind about what’s going on in the world… and no one is watching the same movie.

That line stuck with me. Because it’s true in a way that feels both sobering and compassionate: each of us is interpreting life through our own lens—our personal history, our fears, our hopes, our values, our wounds, our experiences, our prayers. When you really take that in, it becomes easier to understand why two people can look at the same moment in time and walk away with completely different conclusions.

So what do we do with that?

For me—and for Miss Light House—the answer isn’t to police beliefs or argue people into agreement. The answer is to strengthen discernment: the ability to pause, sense, verify, and choose with steadiness. Discernment doesn’t require everyone to watch the same movie. It just helps you recognize when you’re being pulled—and how to return to clarity.

Truth Has Layers: Inner Truth and Shared Truth

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned is that “truth” isn’t always one single category.  There’s inner truth—the personal truth of meaning and alignment. And there’s shared truth—the reality-based truth of facts, sources, and what can be verified. Both matter. They simply live in different places.

Inner truth sounds like:

• What feels aligned with my values?
• What helps me become more loving, steady, and clear?
• What feels like integrity for my path?

Shared truth sounds like:

• What’s the source?
• What’s the evidence?
• Is this being represented accurately?
• Do multiple independent perspectives confirm the basic claim?

Discernment is knowing which kind of truth you’re dealing with—and responding accordingly. Your intuition is a gift. And so is your ability to double check the directions.

A Gentle Family Practice for Discernment

Here is a simple practice you can teach your children and return to yourself as often as you need. Think of it as a “lighthouse sequence”—something that brings you back to center before you act.

1) Pause

Before you react, repost, comment, or spiral—pause.

Take one slow breath. Then ask:

“Am I calm enough to know?”

For kids: “Let’s do a lighthouse breath.”

2) Feel

Notice what the body is saying.

Some information feels like clarity.

Some information feels like static—urgent, inflammatory, addictive, shaming, or fear-based.

Ask:

“Does this feel steady… or does it feel like pressure?”

3) Verify

Verification is not cynicism. It’s care.

Ask:

• Where did this come from?
• Is the headline matching the full message?
• Is it designed to inform, or to provoke?
• What details are missing?

A family rule I love:

“We don’t share until we check.”

4) Choose

Now you decide what to do—without being hijacked.

Sometimes the wisest choice is to learn more.

Sometimes it’s to disengage.

Sometimes it’s to hold “maybe” for a while.

Ask:

“What choice keeps my light steady?”

About Spiritual Tools: Pendulums, Dowsing, and Inner Guidance

I want to say a quick word here, because I know many of you who read my blog use spiritual tools—pendulums, dowsing rods, intuitive practices—to support your connection to inner guidance. These tools can be beautiful. They can help you slow down and access a quieter knowing. But I don’t see them as “truth machines.” I see them as alignment tools—ways to amplify what your inner system is already communicating.

Some supportive questions to ask with a pendulum:

• “What response keeps me grounded?”
• “Is this worth my attention today?”
• “What boundary supports my peace?”
• “What this the next kind step?”

And if you feel anxious, obsessive, or pressured—stop and reset first. A nervous system in overload is not a clear channel. (This is true for adults and children.)

Discernment is never about surrendering your authority to a tool. Discernment is using every tool—practical and spiritual—in the service of clarity.

Teaching Children Without Teaching Fear

If you’re a parent, here’s what I want you to know:

You don’t have to make your children suspicious of the world to teach discernment. Just do it through steadiness:

• It’s okay to say, “I don’t know yet.”
• Urgency is often a red flag.
• People can be sincere and still be mistaken.
• We can be kind and still verify.
• We don’t have to argue to stay true to ourselves.

You are raising a child who will live in a world of information overload. The gift is not “being right.” The gift is knowing how to come home to themselves—again and again—before they decide what to believe, what to repeat, and what to carry.

A Small Reminder for Today

You can feel good about your destination… and still check your directions before you drive.

Your inner guidance matters.

And so does your willingness to pause, verify, and choose with care.

Your light is safe and having discernment doesn’t make you hardened. It makes you steady.